January 4th, 2009.
Hello and Good Morning. It's January 4th, Sunday, at 10:57am and 22 days until my surprise Birthday party.
Saturday evening taught me that when I'm bored at poker I make stupid decisions. That sounds like something I've read before. Hmm.
Here's the problem. With NADD, you're always looking for an intellectual fix… a high. It comes in a variety of forms and varies depending on the person, but you know it when you've found it. It's nailing a problem in your head. It's the blissful depths of the programming zone. It's discovering a weblog entry that explains it all. NADD is a quest for these highs.
Poker is NADD friendly because ever hand has the potential to be a fix. My issue is that when I play online, I play correctly because if I fold a hand I have my other twelve windows to sooth my NADD… when I play in person, I have less outlets which means I do the worst possible poker maneuver. I call loosely.
That said, it was a very fun evening with some great people that I don't spend enough time with. Jackson and I hammered out some initial designs for two websites we are building and headed over to [redacted]'s house where we played some poker and discussed the effect of [redacted] on the University of Oregon campus. [Redacted] ended up quitting early, but it was still a fun time, and rumor is a weekly game will be starting.
Sorry about the [redacted]s folks, but I promised to keep everything said at the game under my hat.
Last night I made what turned into Manchos aka Machos aka Man Nachos. It was a simple recipe that turned into a lot of food. [Add photo here sometime, Kai].
When I was browning the turkey for the Manchos, I realized I have a habit of cooking on very high heat. If I have to sautae onions, I'll do it on the highest heat possible and end up burning them just to finish that step quickly. Everything and anything I cook, I set to the highest heat possible for the illusion of speed.
Then I realized I do this outside of the kitchen. 2008 saw me start a number of projects and plans, all of which I entered without giving due consideration. I've been cooking on too high of a heat in my personal life. I can't just jump in to a project without considering its effect on the rest of my life.
I don't believe in resolutions, but I believe in an aware life. A resolution is set up in the form of a win / loss dichotomy. I do [something] by [some date] or I don't and by the conditions of this wager against myself, I lose. That isn't fun. I'd much rather say "Kai, in the new year pay attention to [something]. You don't have to live by it, but you should give it due consideration when you embark on new plans." So in 2009 I'll be trying to wait an extra second before speaking, think my actions through before I commit, and pause for due consideration when I need to.
Its the first Sunday of the new year and the last day of [my] winter break. If you're in college and have more time off, good for you. I'm going to find my pants.
Have a wonderful Sunday.







